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Cheers to 2 years of Sober Curiosity 🍻

Cheers to 2 Years of Sober Curiosity 🍻

Ever wondered what life might feel like with less alcohol in it?

Two years ago, I wondered too. No big declaration or forever commitment. Just a 10-day break while taking an antibiotic, followed by the question: “I wonder how long I could keep this up?”

Turns out, that little question had a lot to teach me. Note: If you’re reading on socials, head to beckygram.com for the full post and links to resources!

I’d tried Dry January before and made it about halfway through, until Justin’s birthday dinner. I worried that not drinking would somehow take away from celebrating together. Turns out, Justin didn’t care whether I drank!

That became one of my first lessons: sometimes, what we imagine others will expect, think, or do carries more weight than the actual reality of what happens. The friends and family who mattered to me supported me no matter what, and it clarified for me who those people really were.

This time, I gave my curiosity some support. I sought out resources to help me understand and adjust my habits and navigate the social side of not drinking. For me, that was the bigger adjustment, although I recognize that everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different.

Then came the “sober firsts.”

My first party without alcohol. My first flight without ordering a drink. Vacations, holidays, and eventually, my first funeral and grieving period without alcohol.

My father-in-law, “Papa Fred,” had gone more than 30 years without drinking. I’d always quietly admired that about him. When he passed away suddenly in December 2024, my own experiment took on a deeper meaning.

Each time I chose not to drink, I thought of Fred. Continuing became a small way to honor him and remember his decision.

What started as a question about alcohol became a question about what I wanted more of in my life.

Somewhere along the way, my decision not to drink stopped feeling so much like turning something down or missing out and started feeling more like opening a door to explore new opportunities. I no longer missed alcohol; I loved feeling more present, reaching my goals more effortlessly, and taking care of my current and future self.

I call it “sober curiosity” because that framing works for me. With my history of overdoing things (see my ketovangelist days 😆), I want this choice to stay rooted in curiosity. I always give myself the option of having a drink and, so far, I keep choosing to…well, not.

Maybe someday that changes. But today, I’m happy here.

So cheers to Papa Fred and his many, many years without alcohol. And cheers to my own baby giraffe milestone: two years. 🦒

If you’re curious, you don’t have to decide what forever looks like to explore something new. Or, if you’ve tried before and want to start over…I’ve been there, too! Give yourself grace, stand back up, and start again

You can (re)-start with a question, a resource, or a closer look at a habit you’ve perhaps avoided really exploring deeply.

Here are a few places to begin. 💛

💭 Want to peek behind the curtain? More from my journey:

💭 Still curious? Some questions to get you thinking:

  • What do I want alcohol to do for me? Help me relax, connect, celebrate, or feel less uncomfortable?
  • How do I feel before, during, and after drinking? What do I enjoy, and what feels less worth it?
  • When do I drink because I want to, and when do I drink because it feels expected?
  • What other ways could I unwind or get support when I’m stressed, anxious, sad, or bored?
  • What would make exploring this easier? A supportive person, a different way to socialize, or a boundary around when and why I drink?

Have you ever explored sober curiosity or do you want to? I’d love to hear about your experience or answer any questions you might have! You can reach me at becky@betterwithbecky.com 💌

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